Another Monday morning, get up, get ready, get on the bus, get off the bus, get on the subway, get off the subway, get coffee, get in the office.

Feels a bit mundane, same routine every Monday – Friday.  I can’t help but feel that I should be doing something else.  I would rather be much at home taking care of the kids, watch them grow.  Watch them discover new things every day.  The joy that I see in their face when they figure something out.  It’s that joy I see that makes me feel that my wife and I have done something right.  It bothers me when other people tells us how to raise our kids.  I guess it’s because they’ve been through it and they know what to expect.  I can respect that, but I feel that I would rather let them learn on their own.  Learning on their own has a much greater impact that us telling them no.  The curiosity would only drive them to do it anyway.

OK, that was a long tangental thought.

What I was trying to get is, there has to be more to this.  What is it that I’m searching for?  Why am I afraid to reach out and get what I want?  Why do I hold back all the time?  I wish I knew the answers to all this.  Somewhere, its locked deep inside, just don’t know how to get there.

Hopefully I’ll figure this out sooner than later.

I know there’s something  greater out there for us, I just need to break through and get it.  But how?